blinds are closed

1.20.09

blinds are closed

out of sorts
out of placement
out of time
out of...
my mind

memories flash back
memories reappear
memories....
o so clear

feelings linger
feelings hinder
feelings render
feelings...
get in the way

stability
tranquility
the ability to...
love me
all of me
without doubting me
without questioning me
without second guessing me

but none of you could do that
judgemental
hypocritical
belittle
made me feel...
less of myself

well no more
because...
i kno who i am
i kno who ill be
i kno what i need
and its not you
with me

its just me
in the rain
against the tears
fighting against the fears
fighting against all odds
tryin to see the light
thro my darkest nights
ill find a way
to thro away
the pain
the lonliness
the bitterness
the sadness
the thoughts
of you
and me
the former...we
something you never did see
love
that was me