its just a ghost

11.25.08

its just a ghost

my heads pounding
my heart aches
my eyes seeked for true beauty
only to find out that...
it was all just a falacy
lies
consisting of 'i love you's
which i lead to believe were also true
yet...broke my heart
into a thousand pieces
as the clock turned
and within the blink of an eye...
seconds
became minutes
and minutes...
turned into hours
and hours...
became days
and then the days...
turned into weeks
which turned into months
and here i am
stuck
bitter
my heart keep beating
but also bleeding
caused by trifling memories
stabbed
then sutured
shot
then bandaged
kicked
..then bandaged again

how many times
how many nights
how many more tears
how do i...
erase the fears
subside tears
push away agony
for the pain u caused me
YES i still write
NO i dont care
i dont give a FUCK
if you stare
your names not in my mouth
just the imagery of what i knew
lingers like a ghost in my mind
a dream
a fantasy
what i THOUGHT was reality
until it all hit me
like ton of bricks
slamming
scratching
breaking
bruising
leaving...
traces of...your unwanted self
traces of you
all around

i gotta find a way
i need to find a way
its necessary to get away
from
the ghost of you