in findin me...i leave you

08.01.08

in findin me...i leave you

i run towards an image of someone i once loved now standing before me
i run towards an image of a memory
i run towards a love i once knew
i run towards a love i believed was brand new

now...i walk away from the pain
i walk away to clear the stain
i walk away and let you go
i walk and turn the other way so i wont show...
the anguish
so you cant tell im being selfish
and that i still want you for myself
yet this wantin and needin you is causin my health...
to deteriorate
at a slow pace
while my heart beats at a rapid pace
i struggle to breath
like i struggle to leave
the memories behind
thoughts of you behind
im struggling
im having a hard time balancing
the past...with the present
and im hesitant
to start again
to love again
to let someone else in
so i stay within....
my mind
and i find
excuses to shield the 'good'
when i should
try again
be me again
the person i was before i met you
the one who was ready to do anything for you
try anything with you
do anything to be with you
can i do that with another?
is there another....
out there for me?
i thought you were the one for me
eventually ill find completeness...again
ill find me...again
shes out there
they are out there
im out there
somewhere